Zombie

Sometimes I like to fool myself into thinking that the world is always a wonderful place.
Maybe this is because I refuse to admit that the human race, as a whole, is bad.
I'm just kind of wondering why I get strange looks when I let that sort of hope ooze out. I don't think it's a bad thing at all to have hope and faith in people. I don't think it's a bad thing to trust.
I will admit that I have a hard time trusting, but I think that when it has been earned or granted... It is an absolutely beautiful thing.


Separate thought-
I'm struggling as of late.
I'm trying so hard to stay positive, yet I am finding that to be a painfully difficult thing to do. (quite literally)
My pains stop when I am truly relaxed.
For me, becoming truly relaxed is so hard.
I honestly do not know how to relax.
I'm trying to learn.
I'm trying to trust doctors.
I'm trying to trust, relax, and learn.
I'm simply trying.
(...but I'm also failing.)