Worry.

I'm suddenly worrying about the future more than usual.
I don't want to be a let-down to anyone in any way.
I'm ready for my real life to start.
It's just a shame that the things I've done and the choices that I have made have ruined many of the options that I once had.
I once had hope and that alone made many more options available to me.
I should be so much farther along in my life than I am right now, but thanks to myself, I'm far behind where I ought to be in life.

I am blessed by the people I have around me and I hate that my depression hurts them.
I hate that it makes them unhappy and that it makes them worry.
I wish that I could be better at covering up a little bit just so my loved ones wouldn't stress so much over my well-being.
It just seems so silly to me that someone should waste all that worry on me.
I want to be better for all of them more than I do for myself.

I keep trying all of these things that people suggest... That's just getting old.
I'm beginning to think that contentment is just a far-fetched fantasy.

Sidenote: Every time that I'm using Lydia's mom's laptop (like I am, right now) and the "n" doesn't work and I have to strike it extra hard... I can't help but laugh about HOW it happened.
Oh, how I miss Lydia.

Someone on television is wearing a truly hideous sweater.
I realize that that is irrelevant.

Now, I'm just typing to be typing.
I'm too lazy to write.
I'm too upset to not write SOMEHOW.
Maybe I should write a letter or type up an e-mail to everyone I know.
Except, maybe not.

I guess I'm done.