So bummed...

Stephen left this morning.
As if his leaving wasn't bad enough, I got to deal with the delightful construction traffic on Cicero Avenue on my way home from the airport.
I absolutely cannot wait for the day when we can finally stop wondering when the next time we are going to see each other will be.
I really don't have much to write about, I just feel like I need to be writing something- getting something off of my chest. I just don't really know what it is that is ON my chest.

I miss Lydia, too.
I am so proud of her, but I so selfishly miss her.
I really hope that I get to be there the day she comes home from Haiti.
I've only gotten to talk to her twice, just on AIM.
I *did* get a decent webcam so hopefully I will catch her on skype soon.
I honestly do not think that I could do what she is doing right now.
I do not think that I could give up all of my little comforts, pack up, and leave the country to live somewhere with rats and cockroaches all over.
I'm not a strong enough person to leave everything that I know and have grown accustomed to to go and serve.
That makes me feel like a crappy person, but as much as I would like to say that I would or could go do it, I really do not think that I could.
I wish I could and I would love to, but I don't think that I could.

I miss my friends and the places that I love out in Pennsylvania.

I am worried about Stephen's grandmother.
She is not doing well at all and I really hope that nothing happens to her, before I'm able to go out and be with Stephen.
He is being so strong and trying so hard to be okay, but I really think that if anything did happen, he may easily freak and I do not want him to have to go through that on his own. He shouldn't have to and I shouldn't let him.

I was trying to sleep and I just couldn't even get close.
You can blame insomnia for this particular post.
Insomnia and the fact that I now have a laptop and didn't have to get out of bed to do this...

Hopefully I will be able to go up to Chicago and visit Ryan this weekend.
That might be some nice relief.
The city is good at that... The city and Jamba Juice, that is...

Well, I suppose that's all I've got.
Maybe there will be a round two if I still can't sleep.